Wednesday, September 2, 2009

#2. Accept Your Friends Mistakes

Continuing the journey of applying Dragos Roua's 100 Ways to Live a Better Life to my life. Number 2: Accept Your Friends Mistakes.  Dragos says: Maybe you got hurt by somebody. Happens. Just accept it and deal with it. People are making mistakes and if you can accept that for yourself, accept it for your friends too. In the end, all you need from them is their love.

It has taken me a few days to get to this post because I've had to do a lot of thinking about this recommendation. Here's why.


One of the traits I've had to work on my whole life is that I'm an "avoider". I think my parents were really successful in training me to avoid fights rather than get into them. The "bigger person" is the one who walks away must have really stuck with me because that has been my prefered strategy all my life.


Now, there are times when that is ok, even a good thing. But avoiding is not usually the best approach when it comes to mistakes - whether they are made by friends or employees. Avoiding means the mistake is never used as a teachable moment. It means that wounds are left open when they might be easily closed. It means that there is an unsettled sense of dissatisfaction underlying your relationship.


So I'm translating Dragos #2 to say "Accept, but don't avoid, your friends mistakes." My plan is to be mindful of my own actions and to be sure I confront mistakes and accept them. That way the opportunity to make those mistakes will not only benefit my friends it will benefit me.

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