How Could I Not Believe

I read a good post this morning on Jane Perdue’s Blog, “The Both/and Dance of Leadership.” The main point is “ rarely is life and/or leadership an either/or end game.” More typically it is a both/and end game. Jane didn’t focus on the time wasted trying to identify differences between male and female leaders… but she could have. It would have fit.

I started my life in the mid-20th Century when the saying “Behind every successful man there is a strong, supportive woman” really meant “Men lead, women follow.” In general, men had the paying job, women were homemakers. Men had social clubs, women had auxiliary. Men were deacons, city councilmen, senators, and presidents. My dad was no different.

When I look back I can’t help but think that growing up in this environment was the foundation for the changes that have resulted in women now assuming leadership at every level. Men had all the leadership but in return they gave up all the time. My dad, like many, was never home when I was growing up. So just about everything I learned from my parents came from my mother. How could I not believe that the woman who taught me how to be a leader wasn’t capable of being a leader herself.

It was mom who helped me realize that it’s not necessary to tear another person down in order to build yourself up. I can be recognized and so can you. I can learn and there is plenty left for you to learn.

It was mom who dealt with the everyday problems at home and helped me realize that solving the problem was the goal… not winning a competition. If my sister had the solution we could celebrate that just as much as if I did. The solution wasn’t gender-based. Men and women both bring their gifts to the table.

Watching my mom submit to men with unfair power advantages was one of the hardest things I had to do. It has stayed with me throughout my life.

Leadership then was definitely an either/or end game.

Over the years the changes have been phenomenal, although for many still too slow. Now Hanna Rosin in “The End of Men” tells us “earlier this year, women became the majority of the workforce for the first time in U.S. history. Most managers are now women too. And for every two men who get a college degree this year, three women will do the same.” The one area where there is still the need and opportunity for growth is at the top.

It will come. Leadership will join other parts of life in the “both/and end game.” How do I know?

1. The world has become too complex and the problems too big to waste even one minute worrying about the gender of the person with a solution.

2. New media is so quick to expose old traditions for the fallacies they are. In an instant we can see that there is nothing male about leadership.

3. More and more women are recognizing the value of supporting each other but they are not alone. Men who recognize leadership as a both/and effort are also sharing their knowledge and supporting the growth of women.

4. As posted by Susan Gunelius in “Women Making Economic Strides and Not Slowing Down” women control 60% of the wealth in the US. Almost all income growth in the US for the past 15 – 20 years came from women. That will translate into more power and more leadership positions.

5. In "When the Glass Ceiling Helps" by Andrew O’Connell a team at Duke reports that women who break through the “glass ceiling” into leadership positions are perceived to have a significant leadership advantage over men – because of what they overcame to get there. That will position women better to move into more and more positions.

So, when my life ends it will be in an environment where leaders can be women and/or men without effort or energy being used up in the struggle to be leaders. That way the energy will be available for use by leaders, both male and female, in creating a better world.