Beginning the journey of applying Dragos Roua's 100 Ways to Live a Better Life to my life. Number 1: Accept Your Mistakes. Dragos says:
You’re human. We, humans, are making mistakes. Accept what you did wrong and try to do better next time. No need to punish yourself forever. In fact, accepting your mistakes is the only way to make them disappear.
Mike King had a really good post on Leadership:Accepting Mistakes in January. I like his use of the quote "Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom." (Phyllis Therous) Mike also includes a couple really great lists that make his ideas easy to apply.
I'm of an age where I've had the opportunity to learn from lots of mistakes. I don't feel wise yet...more like I'm still on the bridge. I do want to share the one mistake I made that might help others the most.
My post before last was about trust, and it is interesting what role trust played in my mistake. As one more step in living up to Item 1. I'm even going to give you a link to the New York Times version of what happened. I was senior vice president at a charity that was hit with a multi-million dollar embezzlement. I could argue about where the responsibility lay for the theft but I'd rather point out how you might prevent it in your organization.
The person who engaged in the theft had been with the company for 20 years. That's where trust came in. It was not possible for us to imagine that she would steal from us. The result was that no one was watching closely enough. Procedures were unassigned or slipping. Simple safeguards weren't in place. Advisors weren't making sure that we understood their recommendations and weren't being persistent in demanding that we address them.
The point is that this could happen anywhere. We think of embezzlers as creative but the more I learned about the crime the more I came to realize that they are just opportunists. Accounting procedures work - if you follow them. But laxness is born of comfort and comfort is born of trust.
So I learned. I learned that the gravest danger to any business is in the smallest details. I work hard now to see that they are attended to. But I still miss some. Mistakes are always out there. Use mine if you can to avoid yours.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Going Dazzling with Dragos Roua
In "About me" Dragos says:
Don’t expect to find common things here, and in the case you will still find common things, enjoy them, because they will not emerge often.
But do expect to find controversial, unexpected, unusual or just plain strange interpretations here. I saw over the time that some of my thoughts or mental connections have the tendency to put people in the dazzling state. Dazzling is good, sometimes. It makes your brains working.
I just think we don’t have to raise perception walls between our mindsets, goals or approaches. Our “big picture” might often seem cluttered and foggy, but this is mainly because our knowledge paths are frozen in habits. Unfroze your knowledge paths and let them converge and feed each other. And do not be afraid about the results.
We can never fail. We just learn.
I just ran into Dragos list of "100 Ways to Live a Better Life." and I was excited for two reasons. First, it is a great list and being mindful of it will in fact result in my leading a better life. I plan to do that. Second, I sort of let Becky Robinson (@LeaderTalk) convince me to get going on my blog. But if you ever blogged you know that saying it and doing it are two different things. You need something to get you going. You need a spark. I was thinking about how I was going to handle that - I didn't want to let Becky down (Even thought we haven't met yet.) - when I read Dragos post. I knew right away that this was it. If you've been paying attention to movies lately you know there is a movie out called Julie and Julia. It is about a woman who moved her life forward by deciding to work her way through Julia Child's cookbook and blog about each recipe. It helped her. She was touched by Julia Child even though she wasn't actually there. I think Dragos Roua can do the same thing for me. So my plan is to work my way through his 100 ways to live a better life. At each stop I will include his comments and then will either reflect on how this has helped me have a better life or will identify a way it will help me have a better life.
I'll be 63 next month. My health is far from perfect. I need reflection and inspiration. This is where I am going to look for it. You can follow along, but it doesn't matter. I'm committed with or without followers.
There is one other possibility. You could jump on board and do it yourself. Would it make your life better? "We can never fail. We can just learn." (Dragos Roua)
Don’t expect to find common things here, and in the case you will still find common things, enjoy them, because they will not emerge often.
But do expect to find controversial, unexpected, unusual or just plain strange interpretations here. I saw over the time that some of my thoughts or mental connections have the tendency to put people in the dazzling state. Dazzling is good, sometimes. It makes your brains working.
I just think we don’t have to raise perception walls between our mindsets, goals or approaches. Our “big picture” might often seem cluttered and foggy, but this is mainly because our knowledge paths are frozen in habits. Unfroze your knowledge paths and let them converge and feed each other. And do not be afraid about the results.
We can never fail. We just learn.
I just ran into Dragos list of "100 Ways to Live a Better Life." and I was excited for two reasons. First, it is a great list and being mindful of it will in fact result in my leading a better life. I plan to do that. Second, I sort of let Becky Robinson (@LeaderTalk) convince me to get going on my blog. But if you ever blogged you know that saying it and doing it are two different things. You need something to get you going. You need a spark. I was thinking about how I was going to handle that - I didn't want to let Becky down (Even thought we haven't met yet.) - when I read Dragos post. I knew right away that this was it. If you've been paying attention to movies lately you know there is a movie out called Julie and Julia. It is about a woman who moved her life forward by deciding to work her way through Julia Child's cookbook and blog about each recipe. It helped her. She was touched by Julia Child even though she wasn't actually there. I think Dragos Roua can do the same thing for me. So my plan is to work my way through his 100 ways to live a better life. At each stop I will include his comments and then will either reflect on how this has helped me have a better life or will identify a way it will help me have a better life.
I'll be 63 next month. My health is far from perfect. I need reflection and inspiration. This is where I am going to look for it. You can follow along, but it doesn't matter. I'm committed with or without followers.
There is one other possibility. You could jump on board and do it yourself. Would it make your life better? "We can never fail. We can just learn." (Dragos Roua)
Monday, August 24, 2009
Trust Takes Time
Trust is a hot topic right now...considering the release of Trust Agents by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith. While I'm waiting for my copy of the book I've been thinking about trust. The funny thing is...when I think about trust I think about Charlie.
My wife and I have had Charlie for three years. He was four when we adopted him from a rescue organization. Charlie is a mix between a King Charles Cavelier Spaniel and a Daschund. About twenty five pounds, short stubby legs and snout more pointy than stubbed. Charlie had been left tied outside a Humane Society office in another part of the state. He was being fostered. He had no hair from the middle of his abdomen and back to the tip of his tail. He had rubbed and chewed it all off because he had such bad allergies. If anyone tried to touch him around his tail he erupted into a violent, mean chorus of attack barks. He could scare you out of your skin at a moments notice when you thought you were just petting him. The only good thing was he seemed to recognize that people were trying to help him and he never sunk his teeth into anyone.
As we cared for Charlie and became more and more in love with him it became obvious to us that he had been abused. He would cower even when you brought your hand toward him to pet him or with a treat. I'd say he was probably at the end of his trust scale. Our first success was in getting him to allow the cats to live with him. We have two. One is a little ten pound tabby whom Charlie seems to have taken as his own. The other is a 20 pound siamese who Charlie still gives a wide berth too - but who he only occasionally chases. Throughout this entire process we were working on healing his raw skin. After the first year or so he actually looked like a healthy dog with hair covering all his body. He still had allergies that had to be treated but at least most of the year they don't dominate his life.
As time went on we became more comfortable with each other and it became more and more possible to see Charlie's trust. At first there were still times when you could see old memories come back as he went off like an explosion when he got touched somewhere he didn't like. Then slowly, first my wife, and now even I, got to where we could touch him anywhere and where we could nuzzle his face without feeling concerned that he might bite us. We grew in trust together!
Now that it has been three years, things are pretty settled. Charlie still cowers a little when a hand comes toward him but he recovers quickly and often comes for rubs. My wife and I on the other hand aren't afraid to have a little "doggy fun" with him, rolling him around and "teasing" him a bit. It has become a trusting relationship and now we can build on it for the rest of our time together.
So that's how I think about trust with people too. It's not easy. It takes work and it takes time and we have to put ourselves out there sometimes even when they are gruf and growley. But if we do, and we give it time, we will end up with a relationship that will serve us well for a long long time.
My wife and I have had Charlie for three years. He was four when we adopted him from a rescue organization. Charlie is a mix between a King Charles Cavelier Spaniel and a Daschund. About twenty five pounds, short stubby legs and snout more pointy than stubbed. Charlie had been left tied outside a Humane Society office in another part of the state. He was being fostered. He had no hair from the middle of his abdomen and back to the tip of his tail. He had rubbed and chewed it all off because he had such bad allergies. If anyone tried to touch him around his tail he erupted into a violent, mean chorus of attack barks. He could scare you out of your skin at a moments notice when you thought you were just petting him. The only good thing was he seemed to recognize that people were trying to help him and he never sunk his teeth into anyone.
As we cared for Charlie and became more and more in love with him it became obvious to us that he had been abused. He would cower even when you brought your hand toward him to pet him or with a treat. I'd say he was probably at the end of his trust scale. Our first success was in getting him to allow the cats to live with him. We have two. One is a little ten pound tabby whom Charlie seems to have taken as his own. The other is a 20 pound siamese who Charlie still gives a wide berth too - but who he only occasionally chases. Throughout this entire process we were working on healing his raw skin. After the first year or so he actually looked like a healthy dog with hair covering all his body. He still had allergies that had to be treated but at least most of the year they don't dominate his life.
As time went on we became more comfortable with each other and it became more and more possible to see Charlie's trust. At first there were still times when you could see old memories come back as he went off like an explosion when he got touched somewhere he didn't like. Then slowly, first my wife, and now even I, got to where we could touch him anywhere and where we could nuzzle his face without feeling concerned that he might bite us. We grew in trust together!
Now that it has been three years, things are pretty settled. Charlie still cowers a little when a hand comes toward him but he recovers quickly and often comes for rubs. My wife and I on the other hand aren't afraid to have a little "doggy fun" with him, rolling him around and "teasing" him a bit. It has become a trusting relationship and now we can build on it for the rest of our time together.
So that's how I think about trust with people too. It's not easy. It takes work and it takes time and we have to put ourselves out there sometimes even when they are gruf and growley. But if we do, and we give it time, we will end up with a relationship that will serve us well for a long long time.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
New Media Friends
I made a new friend this week. We connected several times by Twitter, e-mail, and phone. Whats really exceptional is it looks like we can help each other out. I can give her an opportunity to stretch herself with some new challenges and she can push me to get back here to my blog and to writing longer posts. Her name is Becky and you can Tweet her at @LeaderTalk.
Becky reminded me how important we can be to each other...even when our friendship is different today than it would have been a few years ago. The value of proximity has changed in the determination of trust. We get to "know" the mettle of people by our interactions - even if those interactions aren't face-to-face. As a Twitter follower of Becky I learned what she feels is important, some of the people whose ideas and opinions she values, and how consistent she is... I learned to trust her. That led me to invite Becky to present at a conference I facilitate.
In turn, after a lengthy phone conversation Becky gently nudged me to get back to this blog and perhaps be a bit more original in my posts. I'm actually eager to accept her challenge.
I love new media...and now, I love my new media friends!
Becky reminded me how important we can be to each other...even when our friendship is different today than it would have been a few years ago. The value of proximity has changed in the determination of trust. We get to "know" the mettle of people by our interactions - even if those interactions aren't face-to-face. As a Twitter follower of Becky I learned what she feels is important, some of the people whose ideas and opinions she values, and how consistent she is... I learned to trust her. That led me to invite Becky to present at a conference I facilitate.
In turn, after a lengthy phone conversation Becky gently nudged me to get back to this blog and perhaps be a bit more original in my posts. I'm actually eager to accept her challenge.
I love new media...and now, I love my new media friends!
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